This is kind of an embarrassing question to ask, but is anyone else a little heartbroken over the Kristen Stewart / Robert Pattinson debacle of this week? Seriously, if I read one more article about him moving out, or them not speaking then I am breaking out the sweat pants and ice-cream and putting the television permanently on Lifetime. Although don’t worry, I won’t be making any tearful youtube videos, like this one. (You won’t be sorry for clicking on the link, it is hilarious).
If Twilight taught me anything about myself, it was that I am a person who loves hype. I don’t understand people who didn’t read Harry Potter because “everyone else was doing it.” Apologies to all anti-peer pressure commercials, but if everyone else is doing it, then it probably is fun.
The Bella/Edward obsession is no exception. It might not be well written, and it is kind of creepy – but it compelled me to keep reading. And Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s portrayal of that relationship kept me going to the movies. People can nay-say all they want, but there is something in the writing and the performance that resonates with people, otherwise they wouldn’t be so popular. But another thing that made it fun was the hype. The fact that millions of other people were also reading and watching and talking about it; that what you were reading was on the front page of every magazine in the grocery store checkout aisle.
That’s what made the Kristen and Rob relationship a fan’s dream. Edward and Bella were eternally in the checkout aisle, but with better clothes, funnier jokes and equally good hair. First they wouldn’t confirm they were in a relationship, then Rob joked to Oprah that they were having a baby and the next thing you knew they were living together.
Somehow, the hype surround Kristen cheating, and Rob moving out hasn’t been as fun to watch. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the characteristic drama (her public apology) and the real time updates (thank you People.com) – but it makes me really sad to think these hollywood soul mates might not make it through. And that makes me feel very very silly.
If you haven’t been following the scandal as closely as me (i.e. you aren’t a crazy person) here is the timeline:
- Wednesday morning: People.com posts that sources have confirmed Kristen had an affair with her Snow White director. The web explodes with disbelief. See this (since updated) Glamour.com article telling us to take a breath, because it may not have happened.
- By lunchtime, with uncharacteristic speed, Kristen issues a public apology to Rob, calling him “the person I love and respect the most.”
- Within an hour Rupert Sanders, the 41-year-old director, issues a public apology to his wife and two kids.
- That night, Rob leaves the home he shares with Kristen carrying a suitcase.
- Everyone and their mother takes to the internet to speculate, mourn and criticize the situation.
- Today People.com reports that Kristen and Rob are not speaking to each other.
- Alison writes confessional blog post instead of writing in her diary, slightly exaggerating in order to satirize her true pain. Then feels bad she’s more concerned with the 20 something celebrities instead of the married couple. Then feels concerned that she is referring to herself in 3rd person.